A lot depends on the ability of the individual to read the situation, and react with sensitivity and concern for the feelings of others, which in most cases comes only with experience.

I have no problem with young people who, generally through lack of that experience, give mild offence to one or two. I usually wait to see if it is repeated, before suggesting that their company, as well as their talent, is appreciated, and that they would be welcome to spend more time with us. This usually has the desired effect.

I never pressure anyone to perform, and if someone who is popular says no, I respect their wishes. I have, however, received the odd slap in the face from people who were very rude in the way they refused. One very well known artist, who dropped in on the way through Kent, replied "No way, I do this for money". Strange to relate, he has never been booked to perform at my club, and he never will be. It's not saying no that matters, but the way you choose to say it.

Don T.