Dear Colleagues,

You all know am sitting here patiently waiting to be consulted on such matters! But I digress....

Why not use my patent "guitar excellence" (GE) formula to derive this value. In brief:

- count the number of guitars that you (or the subjectee) possesses
- multiply this by the number of strings present (one must subtract 10 for each missing string
- divide the total by the number of notes in an Ab minor scale that can be played during the period of 1 second (+/- 5 milliseconds)
- multiply by the force (in Newtons) required to bar a Bmaj9 chord at the 4th position
- divide by the Ebbie factor (i.e. the number of times that dear Ebbie has looked at the forbidden jazz guitar sites)
- add the tastefulness constant tf expressed in blue notes per minute squared
- multiply by 8.132
- find the square root of the total

This will provide a compltely objective value of excellence.

Glad, as always, to be of service and rember that my surgery is always open (and pro bono in deserving cases.

Yours most sincerely,

Dr. Guitar

P.S. Mr Eric the Viking is not "crap"... he actually scores 7.9548 according to my GE formula