So, it's the 15th of January, 1999 and I have nothing better to do than sit in front of my computer staring at the screen. I used to have a comfortable predictable life but I chucked it all away for the scary unpredictable life of an itinerant teacher.

What was I thinking? Can I really cope with the financial downs-and-downs (there are no financial ups) of casual work after working in a cushy government job all my adult life?

As I stare at the screen marvelling at the creative genius of a bunch of people I've never met from all around the world I absent-mindedly catch and pop the flea that jumps from the cat in my lap onto my arm. I reach for another piece of orange from the plate, and click on another thread and start giggling again.

My mind wanders back to my financial predicament again and I start wondering whether I should start riding the bicycle I have out back. It would save money on petrol.

It's almost unrideable, though. It never was any good. That woman who sold it to me for an exorbitant price when I was a student sure saw me coming. The brakes suck and so do the gears. The only good thing about it is the bicycle seat I bought to replace the uncomfortable one that was on it. Maybe I could buy a new bicycle and salvage that seat. How much does a new bike cost?

Nah, the problem is I'm not fit enough to ride a bike. I'm a lounge lizard. I spend my days reading Mudcat guff when I should be out in the real world walking around in the summer sunshine and getting healthy.

Ah, to hell with it! The best remedy for your own misery is to inflict it on someone else. The pecking order. Kicking the cat. Kicking the Mudcat - there's an idea.!

I'll make them make it up to me for wasting my time reading their manic threads by challenging them to write short stories. And I'll make it so insidious that they'll still be caught up in the same thread until...I know, how about 2005! Yeah! Or even 2010! And to make it worse, when they think they can finally get away from this thread I'll give them another challenge to write a story of 100 words, no more and no less.

Nah, it'll never work. They're not that gullible, are they? Are they?

;->

Helen