How many French does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, first, there has to be a UN security resolution demanding a change - but only if the light bulb can be proved to be burned out and not just in a quantum state of flux.

Second, there should be an increase in the number and frequency of inspectors and inspections to determine that the light bulb is not just burned out, but a genuine threat to the rest of the world. There has to be a "smoking filament" or else the changing of the bulb would be considered unnecessary since the light bulb poses no threat to world stability, let alone in breach of said resolution by illuminating anything other than it's own space.

Third, there should be endless debate about the ramifications of light bulb change. How do we know the next light bulb will be a more co operative light bulb and illuminate our lives?

Fourth, France will in no way support a violent action in changing the light bulb. There must be a peaceful solution to this light bulb change; violent action is unacceptable.

Fifth, without a broad coalition that supports light bulb change, any action to change the bulb will be considered a breach of the "spirit" of the UN resolution regarding the li