How to get revenge on the loud in a cultureally justifiable way...

Last Saturday, I was playing at a wee pub in New York, BB Doyles. Now, here we are, a banjo, guitar and myself on the Uilleann pipes, and their is this loud drunken woman at the bar, some twenty feet away, yelling so loudly that I have to put my head down to hear myself play a rather loud instrument. We are getting more and more annoyed and wishing Johnney Cronin were still alive to break fiddles over the heads of the loud, when a fellow comes up to us, and excuses himself, saying that he is a highland piper, and that if he werent in his cups and so overserved, hed go a few doors over to his house - get his pipes and teach the loud one a lesson. Well, I have to say, he was very in controll, for being in his cups, by his own account, so I insisted that he do just that, get his pipes and Id give him a back up on the ol bodhran. He came back in a few moments, and had some great hard reeds, loud LOUD I MEAN BLOODY GREAT and LOUD! Played the Athol Highlanders, first, cock of the north, all the tunes of glory! Right next to the biddy, and me on the other side of her. The eejit only tried to shout to her mates over the din, didnt get it at all, but, by the end of a good set, she was croakin - lost most of her volunme. God bless the piper and may he be as overserved as hed like. Larry Otway