I'M going to start a campaign to make folks practice Safe BS.

Layah's right.

Consider these cases:

* Little Cappy Jenks was just 3 years old when he toddled into the living room of his middle-class suburban home in a middle-class suburb of Nagodaches. His father was drinking beer with two friends and his brother-in-law; poor Cappy was struck by the flying BS. He's now a best-selling author.

* Laura was a cute kid: perky, pretty, smart, and always ready to help. One day she encountered a pervert and was taught to read; she was hooked and now she's given her body to a Major Politician and is living a degraded and disgusting existence in Washington, DC.

These are only two from the thousand in our files.

Unsafe BS practices cost the world billions each year:

* In 2003, Turkey spent over 3,000,000,000 Turkish Lira on BS-related diseases, money that could have been better spent on small arms.

* During 2004 -- just last year! -- the United Kingdom and the United States spent uncounted billions just for "Prime" ministers and "Chief Executives."

* From 1990 to 1999, the Southern Hemisphere alone did NO research on the dangers of BS, doubling that done by the Northern Hemisphere.

Won't you help? Send your contribution to Layah, and I beg you, PLEASE follow these simple rules of Safe BS:

1. Always use a condom.
2. Treat every BS as if it were loaded until you personally have proven otherwise.
3. Keep BS chained up when it's not in use.
4. Put "Mr. Yuck" stickers on EVERYTHING.
5. Remember, you can never tell!
6. Walk your post in a military manner, keeping always on the alert and allowing no one to pass without proper authority.
7. Read everything!
8. Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds after going to the bathroom.
9. Thou shalt not commit.
10. Memorize all the unwritten rules.

If you will follow these simple, common-sense, rules we can beat this thing -- together!