Washington, D.C. (AP)

With the Pope's health deteriorating rapidly, Condolesa Rice has been flown to the Vatican where sources within the White House have confirmed that her mission is to get President Bush's name into the mix of candidates to be considered to take over upon Pope Paul's death.

A source within the administration, who asked to remain unnamed, said that the President has had converstaions with God and has been ordered by God to seek the position so that Bush can continue the Pope's work as an advocate for the down-troden.

But Democratic Senator John Kerry was quick to point out the President's other motives in saying, "The President has done the math and when he looks at being in a position to push 1 billion people around, rather than a measley, 300 million, it has become apparent to his handlers that the Vatican is one heck of a target."

Vice President Dick Cheney has been told to stay close to home and be prepared to assume the duties officially that he has been handling unofficially since 2000.