Worst X-mas Song-"I Want To Spend Christmas With Elvis" by Debby Dabney (w/ writer's credits going to Don Kirshner & Bobby Darin)
This horribly written and performed opus can be found on an anthology called "Mr. Santa's Secret (Santa's Boogie)" amidst a lot of old jazz & R&B on Savoy Jazz (ZDS 1157)and is wretched beyond belief.

Still on X-mas, "Christmas Must Be Tonight" must be the worst thing Robbie Robertson ever wrote for The Band (off "Islands")

And since everybody loves the tune and first verse of "Jingle Bells"
so much, have you ever seen the complete set of words? More than once have I seen it stop experienced carolers dead in their tracks in disbelief in mid-verse.

And going off on a slight Tannen-bombs-Away tangent, there's a damn good reason we only sang two or three verses of "Maryland, My Maryland" (the State Song) in school, as it has a seemingly endless number of verses consisting of some of the most ungodly 19th century poetry imaginable. Everybody sang the whole sorry thing in unison once at a re-enactors ball in Baltimore and it was sheer torture.

And for Worst-Attempt-To-Connect-With-An-Audience-You-Didn't- Actively-Solicit-But-Are-Suddenly-Buying-Your-Music----"The Hippies Are Trying" (insert own joke here) by Junior Wells on Blue Rock and later, Mercury (314 558 551-2). Memphis Slim attempted one of these, too, if memory serves.

Season's Cretins & Merry Excemas,
Severn