Joe, after months of being "on the wagon" ...ok, it was just days, but it was days of dogged determination -- on the part of his wife...

...succombs to the tempting siren of whiskey that beaconed him from the nearby tavern door.

So Joe drinks until he get sick -- literally all down the front of his shirt.

"Oh shit", says Joe, "My wife is gonna KILL me!"

Ed, his drinking partner says, "naaaw, man, here's what you do" and he takes out a $50 bill and stuffs it in Joes shirt pocket. Then Ed says, "When your wife asks you about this tomorrow you tell her that some drunk passed you on the sidewalk and got sick all over you. Then he gave you this $50 to cover cleaning and any other inconvenience to you".

"That just might do the trick", says Joe, and he heads for home and bed.

In the morning, sure enough he's awakened by the angry shouts from his wife. She's reading him the riot act for going out drinking again. "YOU PROMISED!!!" she wailed. But then she notes the money in the pocket and says, "So what's this money?"

Joe, pleased at the prospect that this deception seems to be going well, contains himself sufficiently to spin the lie, "Some drunk passed me on the sidewalk last evening and barfed all over me. Drunk as he was, he was at least gentlemanly enough to give me $50 for having barfed on my shirt."

His wife seems somewhat satisfied but puzzled. "But there's $100 in your pocket. What's the other $50 for?" she asks.

Says Joe, "......oh, that. Well, he shit in my pants too."