Sometimes you can learn a lot about a car by simply dissecting the name. Phallic symbol or not, perhaps it's in the name!
*********************************************************************

ACURA - Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead...Always Causes Unexpected Rectal Analysis
AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influences
BMW - Brutal Money Waster, Bought My Wife
BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC - Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
CAMARO - Can't America Make A Real One?
CHEVROLET - Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHRYSLER - Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
CITROEN - Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
CORVETTE - Cracks Often, Rattles Violently, Eventually Turns To Excrement
DODGE - Dear Old Dad's Garage Experiment, Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
EDSEL - Every Day Something Else Leaks
FERRARI - Ferrari Engines Routinely Require Another Rebuild Immediately
FIAT - Fix It Again Tony!
FORD - Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable, Found On Road Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily
GEO - Grotesque Engineering Outdated
GM - Generally Mediocre
GMC - Gotta' Mechanic Coming
GTO - Get Tickets Often!
HONDA - Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
IROC - It's Really Only a Camaro
JAGUAR - Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs
JEEP - Just Eats Every Part, Jumble of Everyone's Extra Parts
KIA - Korean Idiot Attractor
LTD - Long Term Debt
MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG - Money Grabber, Might Go
MOPAR - My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG - Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Leftover Equipment
PINTO - Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB - Sad Attempt At Beauty, Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
SATURN - Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH - This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW - Virtually Worthless
YUGO - You're Usually Getting Overtaken

Spaw