what malachy said

I am happy to volunteer to be pope. I can be jeanette pauline 1st.

I would downsize those cardinals, declare all positions vacant, and issue new selection criteria. all nuns, disenfranchised priests and unemployed refugees will be allowed to apply, there will be a policy of equal opportunity. I would relocate the Vatican to Hull (close to the centre of the folk scene) with an outpost at Major's Creek. I will put Joe Offer in charge of editing Papal encyclicals, JennyO and jack Halyard in charge of Hymns, and would distribute the millions in the Vatican Bank throughout the southern hemisphere (so as to re-establish a balanced planetary financial yin and yang).

anyone who complains, I will direct to the Mother of All BS threads, where they can lodge a complaint in writing.

the Lord will be my shepherd ( ewe keep out of this, brucie and LH) and I shall not want.

but, if the cardinals decide to vote for someone else,I will renounce all aspirations to reality and will instead go for a good fantasy.

your humble servant

f.underhill