In the pub after bellringing practice recently (quenching the thirst after righteousness) we had an interesting discussion about ley-lines, dowsing and stone-sexing (!). That last I'd never come across before, but apparently "Wally from round the corner" goes out into the nearby Peak District (England, we're talking about), lays his hands on stones – I'm not clear on the details - and pronounces them male or female. Yes, well...

I seemed to be in a minority of 1 in pronouncing the whole lot to be nonsense, so I thought I'd see what was the opinion of my new chums at the Mudcat on the subject.

For what they're worth, here are my views:

LEY-LINES: I should have thought that scattering significant erections (to coin a phrase) at random across England would have allowed straight lines to be drawn through a number of them. I have done no research to discover whether there are enough exceptions off accepted ley-lines to make a random disposition a valid argument. If there are few exceptions, then I have to admit that I've no explanation for the linear disposition. However, talk of "suble earth energies" along the ley-lines, peaking at intersections, makes me reach for my gun (who'm I misquoting here? can't remember).

DOWSING: Whilst I can accept that the presence of water below ground could have a physical effect (magnetism? static? subliminal mechanical vibration?) on a dowser's brain, I reject the possibility of any effect large enough to overcome a dowser's muscles on a forked stick (or wire, or whatever). And the concept of (eg) dowsing for water miles from the actual site using a pendulum over a map I reject also.

STONE-SEXING: must be as near to bollox as makes no difference. If someone pronounces this particular stone to be male, that female, there can be no objective argument otherwise. If there is anything in this at all (which I seriously doubt), I suspect that "male"/"female" are being used as synonyms for something which would be better labelled with a physical description (eg "with magnetic axis tending to the vertical/horizontal" – note the eg: I'm making a suggestion not pronouncing definitively).

GENERAL: There are 3 possibilities: 1) All these effects are figments of fevered imaginations (this is the explanation I go for, but I have a problem with the ley-lines, if they are more than random). 2) These effects may be exaggerated in the telling, but there are such effects and they have a physical explanation (one that science could measure and describe). 3) There is a supernatural agency at work; I don't think I've anything more to say on this point, before some input from you lot, whose deep erudition has already impressed me no end.