Ah well. The beer monkey would have problems here. No lager in the fridge. No lager in the HOUSE. (Occasionally some Czech lager, but rarely. Definitely no British brewed lager.) No fag ends - he'd have to bring his own. Not enough hair to ruffle, and clothes everywhere anyway so wouldn't know the difference. He'd never get my mountain bike up the stairs, and finding the wardrobe would be another job. Also no club anthems in the house (except on Radio 1 on a Sunday night if Drama on 3 is on - can't stand most radio plays). Seven pints of lager? That's equal to about two pints of proper beer or cider, isn't it?