Hey. All you folks who have participated in this thread. Thank you. However, the thread is eight short of the seventy-five I had predicted it would go to. This is a real disappointment to me. So I will tell y'all about the following:

Amaze your friends. The shot that was heard around the world? It ain't been done yet. Try this and really impress that special someone of yer dreams. FART with yer neked tuch pressed firmly against--are ya ready for this?--really?--OK then, AN AIR MATTRESS.