I can't believe no one has done this yet, given the thread title. It is my penance for teaching thousands of schoolkids to spoon over the years.

TAKE THESE SPOONS AND SHOVE 'EM

Chorus:   Take those spoons and shove 'em !
                We ain't playin' in 5/4 !
                We know your woman left ya,
                And we damn well know what for.
                You can't keep time, you sure can't count.
                Hey, buddy, there's the door !
                Take those spoons and shove 'em!
                You ain't playin' here no more!

1.        I've been fiddlin' at these sessions,
        For more than twenty years.
        We've played a thousand tunes to death
        And drunk ten thousand beers.
        Then "Ringo" snags the tableware
        And grabs a mike to play;
        Gimme just one more Jack Daniels
         And I'll have the guts to say...

2.        The bouncer's got no ears at all,
        The barman's ears are tin;
        The owner doesn't give a @!#$&*%
        As long as cash rolls in.
        The crowd thinks he's our mascot.
        Hell, they buy him drinks to play !
        Hey, Mikey! Turn my vocal up
        I think it's time to say...

                                        GW 5-12-05