Have tried searching for these lyrics but no success at present. In the meantime here are a few more additions as remembered by Stewart:

"The Ballad of Mini Cooper"

My name is Mini Cooper I'd a body white as snow
Til I met a rally driver and a-rallying I did go
He promised me fine trophies and I got them all for sure
…..


He took me down a shady lane so dark I couldn't see
And let me tell you girls, what there he did to me
He laid me on a mossy bank up against a wall so tight
And he examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

......
There never was a driver who was half as fast as he
He tuned my carburettor and gave my points a touch
So how could I resist him girls when he let in the clutch.

..... and my hydrolastic's bust
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head has gone
So don't go into the forest girls without your Nickons* on.

*Nickons = suspension struts