So you go into 'Start' then 'Control Panel', 'Appearance and Themes', 'Screensaver', then '3D Text Settings'. Then you type in the message, press go and then put the kettle on whilst you have another think about it. So you try the 'Special font effects' in the Word programme and that doesn't work either. Slip along quickly to Powerpoint which says 'Hello, who the f--k are you?'. Oh bo---ks, I'll go and write another song whilst the material's fresh in my head.....................................