QUARK!!! QUARK!!!

(Translation: The Big Bang theory is a bunch of hooey. It was more like the Big Overflow. Someone left a "faucet" on over on the 19th Dimension. It wasn't really a faucet because it didn't have water coming out of it, but "faucet" is as close to the idea as you humans have a word for. Anyway, the "sink" overflowed and a bunch of the stuff dripped into your Universe which, prior to the drippage, had been a total and absolute vacuum. It was all an accident. Really. The 19th Dimensioners have apologized profusely to the Cosmic Overlord and they have been punished by being banished into this three-dimensions-plus-time Universe where they are known as "Freds".)