GILBERT, MINNESOTA
Parody lyrics: Genie
Music (and original lyrics): Merle Haggard

Our forebears built this town on prostitution,
Hootch, and other vice, back in the day.
But it's our City Council that's the whore now
Sellin' out to outside strangers just for pay.

Our forebears built this town on prostitution,
Hootch, and other vice, back in the day.
But it's our City Council that's the whore now
Sellin' out to any stranger who can pay.

1st Chorus:
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
City Council just won't rent the hall.

Leather whips weren't on the menu for the festival
Free love and Roman scandals weren't the scene.
Hip-hop was the roughest thing we planned on
And the kids are here, so we'd have kept it clean.

We can't make a party with no venue.
Whorehouse Days can't find a place to rent.
Seems our fearless leaders are too stodgy.
Wonder if they'd let us pitch a tent?

2nd Chorus:
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
Guess we'll have to ttry it in St. Paul!