I was mugged one night recently around 10:15 PM just outside of my home as I walked home from the bus stop. A man came up behind me quietly on a dark part of the path. He grabbed me from the rear and demanded my money. He pushed me around, moving me off the path towards a wooded area, and pawed me. At times he grabbed me around the neck or struck me on the back of my neck with a blunt object. I screamed for help a few times and tried jabbing him with my elbow, but he stayed behind me most of the time, so I couldn't poke him in the eye, throat, knee, or shin. I couldn't even get a good look at him. Every time I screamed, he threatened to kill me. I gave him all the money I had with me, but he didn't want my wallet or cards. It could have been a lot worse. I wasn't harmed physically and all I lost was about $35. Nevertheless, I was really shaken up. When I got into my home, I called the police. They were familiar with the situation. There have been several similar muggings in my neighborhood recently, presumably by the same guy. Several policemen came out in response to my call, including one with a K9 Corps dog, who sniffed around very impressively. The police also sent out a helicopter with a floodlight to search the woods near the place where I was attacked. The light was very, very bright. With a sense of irony, I thought, "Wow. I must be important." One of the policemen recommended that I stay in the well lit areas of the parking lot at night and that I get and carry pepper spray. They said that crooks like this are usually intimidated by such tactics.

So many women are affected by such crimes. We are affected even more by fear of crime. We don't go out at night, especially to places where we feel uncomfortable, because of the fear. Single women are especially vulnerable, and I resent that. I feel that I can't go places and do things that other women can because I don't have a man to watch over me. Damn!

One of my male friends told me that he, too, is concerned, not only about me, but also about himself. Men get mugged, too. I had forgotten about that. Now I remember something about a trainer I had in a gym about 10 years ago. He is African American, big, bulky, and in great shape. He lives in a middle class neighborhood. One night he was held up at gunpoint just outside his home. He told me that the gun was almost against his chest, and he was awfully close to being dead. He is very sensitive to the fears of women. He often crosses a street to avoid walking behind a woman, especially a white woman. A few white men have told me that they do the same thing.

Crime stalks everyone, men and women, black and white, at any time of day and in any neighborhood.

I'm surprised at how long it's taken for me to recover. A week after the mugging, my hands were still shaking. When I tried to talk about the mugging, my voice quavered and my throat felt like it was tightening (asthma, probably). My heart was racing. I couldn't concentrate. I kept forgetting things.

A few friends have been like light in the darkness. One of my neighbors told me to call him any time, up to 11 PM, when I'm at the entrance to my condo complex, and he'll come and pick me up. He even drove to the grocery store to bring me home. Another friend responded very well to my need for hugs. Still other friends have called or emailed me and said sympathetic, supportive things. It's good to know that there are people who care about me.