Pauline,

I suspect you aren't particularly looking for advise about what to do if there should be a "next" time. Seems pretty clear to me that you did everything that was in your power to do at that time.

I HOPE YOU NEVER TO GO THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.

Your job now is to process this in a way that allows you to move again in the world with some confidence. You have had to deal with so very much in the last few years, and some of those past experiences may resonate rather loudly with this one. Take of yourself, girlfriend, and be merciful with yourself.

Janie