I think the conversation while mostly okay, is somewhat hampered because folks are discussing it at different levels. At the level of death unleashed on unsuspecting civilians, there is a sad commonality to all the victims, wherever they are. However, if you're going to start equating all victims of all wars, you are taking a moral equivalency view, much as one might make of it from outer space. This is not wrong of itself, but it is wrong to make everything equal and then come back into the game arguing in favor of one side.

If you're going to take the viewpoint from outer space, then you should stay in outer space.

If you're going to argue that people, who strap on explosives and go onto a civilian conveyence in order to wreak havoc on fellow civilians, are no different from military opponents in battle; you are involved in the morality of warfare and judgements can and are being made as to the values of either side and the springs of belief that flow into these actions. But it's correct to call attention to the distinctions being ignored to make that argument.