Aha! Noone has seen the clever marketing trick here! We need paying shedloads of money to slow down.

It works like this. We play super fast in sessions to stop beginners being admitted to the elite group of self-important know-it-alls, and so we can show off how many tunes we can play by squeezing double the number into an evening, and only playing them twice through. That is because we are also altruistic, and have graciously donated our genius gratis to be enjoyed by aspiring entrants to our clever society, but when you pay us, whoaaaaaaaa......... let's dance! The pace comes down to a solid 120, the punters really hear the gaps between the notes, and we get to watch the pretty ladies dancing.

The last time I offered to slow down for a mere £58 (that's probably about 1,000 of your American Dollars), I was pilloried on this very platform! Bah to the lot of you!