I've always wanted a parrot so I could teach it to swear at the vicar!! Trouble is, my previous priest would probably have taught it a few I'd never heard of!

The thought of a parrot in a cupboard shouting 'arse' and whistling 'The Great Escape' has made my day and I will go about my business with a smarmy grin and people will think I've been up to naughties... thank you!

LTS