It so happened that this came out today. Not describing anyone in particular (perhaps me more than anyone else), but I dedicate it to the most frequent poster of this thread.:

Grumpy Old Man

In photographs I am the one who constantly refuses to say "cheese"
My stare is colder than the deepest freeze
My face I will not crease
And friends I used to have a few, but now they're getting fewer every year
And nobody now wants to lend an ear
Afraid of what they'll hear
In any social gathering I have the corner seat
To find a fault in everyone it is my biggest treat
On everything under the sun opinions I excrete

But I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Yes I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Don't try to explain 'cause I don't want to understand
I'm just proud - To be a grumpy old man.

The youngsters don't know anything and most of them don't even know they're born
The future of mankind I like to mourn
They all deserve my scorn
They speak in riddles and cliches and any advice they're given they reject
Their manners and appearance they neglect
They never show respect
They have no conversation, they all just seem to spit
Their humour is despicable, they are devoid of wit
And just the other day a little brat called me a tit

But I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Yes I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Don't try to explain 'cause I don't want to understand
I'm just proud - To be a grumpy old man.

I'd go abroad on holiday but there's too many foreigners out there
For strange foods and habits I don't care
So I travel in my chair
My hand on the TV control I scan through all the channels in their turn
Sometimes the TV I want to burn
Such rubbish that they churn
No cultured programmes anywhere, they only feed us pap
With perverts and celebrities that talk a lot of crap
If I could put them on my knee I'd take to them my strap

Because I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Yes I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Don't try to explain 'cause I don't want to understand
I'm just proud - To be a grumpy old man.

I have no pleasures left in life but pointing out to others that they're wrong
And everywhere I sing the same old song
And nowhere I belong
I was once young and fanciful before these wrinkles grew upon my brow
An angry youth I was, I will allow
But I'm just angry now
You say it may be jealousy that makes me blow my top
My age and experience that I would gladly swap
But I am too old to learn now, and I'll moan until I drop

And I'll be proud - To be a grumpy old man
Yes I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Don't try to explain 'cause I don't want to understand
I'm just proud - To be a grumpy old man.

(Closes to the strains of "If I had a hammer...")

(C)Copyright 2005 George Papavgeris