Curmudgeon had it right: wallet on the left, handkerchief (and comb, back when I needed a comb) on the right. At least that's the way I used to do it until I had my pocket picked on the London Underground. Now I keep my wallet in my front pocket.

Now if someone could only tell me what all those pockets, hooks, straps, and compartments on my vest are for… (It looks sorta like this.)

Hey, you wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to find a picture of a vest that looks sorta like mine. I thought everyone sold them: LL Bean, Lands' End, Sears. I guess they musta gone out of style when I wasn't looking.

I used to like having lots of pockets, particularly when I was being a tourist and carried lots of stuff: passport, maps, guidebooks, brochures, tickets, pens, notebook, sunscreen, etc. I had to give it up because my memory got so bad, I could never find anything without looking in about 10 different pockets. Now I travel light.

Here's another puzzler. I know what Brits call a vest is what Americans call an undershirt—but how can anyone call this a cargo vest? Where do you put the cargo?

This is more like what Americans would call a cargo vest. What would you Brits call it?