Aha! "EK's". Yes, we have had many stories about EK's, all of which were dismissed as complete claptrap by the scientific community and the Amazing Skandy. Now that we have discovered advanced life on Earth, we are a bit more open to the concept of EK's. We are a bit relieved that your spacecraft appear to be somewhat primitive at this point in time, as we would not want to have to deal with a large influx of insane Earthlings for the time being. We are preparing holding tanks in case you do arrive...and Nilch Blasters. Nilch Blasters turn all your skeletal structure into jelly, thus rendering you unviable without major injections of sappo.

You have us completely befuddled on the trailer park matter, but we will continue to investigate it.

As an Earthling, John Hardly, would you describe yourself as:

1. intelligent life
2. semi-sentient life
3. mobile but barely self-aware life
4. semi-conscious life
5. life possessing a measure of free will
6. self-activating unit
7. able to conform with programmed routines, but incapable of independent thought
8. or none of the above ???

- The Council