Okay. Number ONe: I am the sexiest man in the whole flippin' world. That is sertified, eh? Number Two: People would KIll to have my looks, eh? Number Three: I busted inta 3 beer stores in one night! (Well, tried to, anyway...) Number Five: I can chug 12 beer faster'n anyone else in this town. Number Six: Ozzie Osbourne loves me and would spend time here if he had the time but he don't... but that's okay, I understand, eh?

Number Seven: Where are we? Oh. Well, I have a beauty girlfriend who is a cop. She is flippin' gorgeous. I intend to marry her or Shania Twain, whichever one works out first.

Number Eight: Ummm....

Wait.

Okay.

I flippin' puked on Mick Jagger one time in Toronto. And his bodyguards beat me up. If I meet him again I want a flippin' apology!

That's all that comes to mind right now, eh?

- BDiBR

p.s. I spent 4 days in a flippin' truck with this bolthole once and he musta had a big head, eh? He was one of them intilleschual types I guess. I could tell. He used words like "analisis" a lot, eh? That is somethin' that has to do with your butt, I think. Maybe he is a proctocologist or somethin'. I tried to be nice and, like, come up with interestin' conversations and stuff, but it was not easy. You shoulda seen the weird looks. I ast him if he ever drove a snowmobile acrost the lake when the ice was just an inch thick. He said "No". The things he wanted to, like, talk about could put a mad dog to sleep in like 30 seconds or less, eh? "Have you ever been reamed out by a posthole digger?" I asks. He just stares at me with a funny little smile on his flippin' face. What a flippin' bolthole! I am proud that I did not punch him out. I am learnin' to be more tolarant of major loosers than I used to be.