Ebbie--When you get there--just pay attention to how others around you are listening and attending to whoever is singing. Pay attention also to how you listen to others. Hear someone singing whose voice may waver or go off key? Or who sings just fine--but clearly not professional, or whose voice is better than their musicianship, or some who really can't carry a tune? Some one obviously so nervous it was effecting them? Sure you do. And if you think back, I bet you can remember listening and admiring them (us)for singing anyway, and valuing their contribution. Will notice the "Pro's" doing the same.

That's what I noticed. And then realized that I was not so terminally unique that the same wouldn't apply to me. That's how I got to where I COULD see it. As I noted earlier--it doesn't mean I don't clutch up some, but I am able to participate.

I don't think stagefright is about selfishness, but is about a wounded sense of the self. I think it derives from a combination of the narcissism (which we all have and need in some measure) and the deep sense of shame about not being "good enough" that most human beings seem to harbor somewhere within themselves.

Oops. About to go off on one of my boring rambles.

Now see? I just realized that remark comes from my "stagefright" on the forum. And my stagefright on the forum is what leads to the long, way too wordy posts. I have a terrible fear of not making myself clear, or of not coming across in a way that conveys my own intelligence, integrity, and intuitive thinking. NOT a problem for me as a therapist--I'm confident and the attention is on the otherperson, not me--there is no conscious element of performance to it. Not so here though--and it effects my writing just as much as anxiety effects my singing.

Lets get together and sing some at the Getaway, Ebbie.

Janie