Ebbie, I have a suggestion for the Getaway: I am absolutely sure you can come up with some new singing partners for the weekend if that's what it takes to give you confidence! Before you go, run through a bunch of your favorite songs on your own. If you can, figure out what pitch you start them on or what key you sing them in. Then just ask various people each to practice one of the songs with you, if all you need is support on the choruses it will be particularly easy. I would be really happy to learn a song with you to get things started, if that helps. It would be a durned shame for you not to lead any songs all weekend.

Hamish, Judy Cook shared a technique for starting on the right pitch, while we were at Augusta Vocal Week. She says she practices with a pitch pipe, finds a comfortable starting pitch and gives herself that pitch before she practices the song. When she starts to perform, she finds that she usually picks a starting pitch very close to the one she has been using in practice.

I do something similar (when I remember,... I don't "perform" much so I'm not consistent about it). It works for me, too. After a while you train yourself to pick a key that works pretty well. Sometimes I accompany myself on the zither, and I keep a notebook of keys and starting pitches for the zither, which has only a few keys available.

I have an extra problem with pitch, because my vocal range changes depending on how much transplant medication I happen to be absorbing that week (not a problem most people are going to have....). I tend to start too low because of being afraid of not reaching the high notes. One thing I've learned do is run through a song in my mind before I sing it. I try to find the highest and lowest notes, then mentally "sing" it to be sure I can reach them. If all else fails, I change the pitch on the second verse. Not too cool but it's a common problem for unaccompanied singers so most people understand.