WHEN THERE ISN'T A GIRL ABOUT

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he, a merry old soul was he.
He called for his wife in the middle of the night
And he whipped his old bazooka out and this is what he said

Get hold of this, get hold of that.

When there isn't a girl about, you do feel lonely
When there isn't a girl about, you're on your own
All alone and on the shelf
Nothing to do but play with yourself
When there isn't a girl about.

Robinson Carusoe, dirty old man Carusoe
There wasn't a girl about, there wasn't a girl about
Along came Friday and sat down beside him
And he whipped his old bazooka out ...etc

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey, eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
And he whipped his old bazooka out... etc

Marianne Faithful, she tried to be faithful
There wasn't a girl about, there wasn't a girl about
Along came Jagger and tried to **** her
And he whipped his old bazooka out, etc


Gwilym