...and now back to the usual inane, offensive banter. I had a friend in college, redheaded guy named Greg who hailed from Rochester, New York. After a few beers and in the spirit of camaraderie(did I spell that right,Garg?), he told me the following story:

In High School, Greg was dating a girl who seemed open to certain forms of intimate exploration which were quite new to him, Greg being of the Virginical persuasion. He eventually evaluated the direction of their increasingly heavy petting as being hell-bent toward a state he had heretofore achieved exclusively through perusal of a dog-eared copy of the October 1966 Playboy Magazine. In anticipation of the pending consummation, he purchased a packet of Ramses Pre-lubricated Reservoir Tipped Condoms.

At last, the highly anticipated rendezvous was arranged (by certain hot insinuations) for a Friday night. But Greg, having never dealt with such sensitive issues, and feeling disinclined to consult his clergyman on the matter, was stymied by the threat of that clumsy moment when, interrupting the flow of intense passion, he would have to don the thing.He wrestled with the problem in his mind until he at last hit upon a course of action that he felt would expedite matters while not offending his fragile partner. That night, as predicted, they found themselves partly disrobed and in the clutches of all-consuming lust. Greg boldly suggested that they "go all the way," to which the girl replied "but...you'll need protection!" He smiled back, saying "I have a condom!" When she said "well,put it on!" he replied "I'm already wearing it." Stunned, she queried "how long have you had it on?" Greg flinched. "Since about 5 o'clock this afternoon, right after I took my shower." Indignant, she pushed him away.While standing up to button her blouse,she shouted "What kind of girl do you think I am!"

As Greg finished his tale,he had tears in his eyes. I had tears in mine, as well, as I rolled on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.