But, ya know, sometimes the BS just doesn't work. Those old realities and world-views just get so concretized that no amount of BS can soften 'em and move 'em on outta there. Then sluggishness and listlessness set in, the eyes refuse to focus, and REO Speedwagon's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" becomes a mind-worm that won't leave the consciousness.

Well, if that's your current mental state, don't despair! If BS just isn't cutting the mustard*, see your doctor about the possibility of having a radical paradigmectomy! Millions have found relief from this simple and inexpensive procedure!

It's really quite simple: A fifteen minute operation in which one's old paradigm is completely removed, followed by a six-week convalescence during which one is exposed to a balanced mental diet of Plato, Sartre, Ken Wilbur and PeeWee Herman. The convalescent period is of utmost importance as studies have shown that patients released too soon after a paradigmectomy tend to become members of Satanic cults, fundamentalist Christian or Islamic sects, and members of the U.S. Senate.


* "Mustard" is not the technichally correct term for all that nasty mental constipation, but the term has been adopted extensively by laypersons. After all, they're both yellow, gooey, and repulsive to young children.