It was announced by FEMA's press office this afternoon that Michael
J. Brown, the director of FEMA, had resigned. Actually, he resigned last Thursday -- FEMA only found out about it today.

When President George W. Bush was informed of this development, he told reporters that he intended to make an example of Mr. Brown for his handling of the crisis in Louisiana and Mississippi, and for reports about Brown falsifying items on his resume. To that end, the President has announced he is awarding Brown the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and nominating him for the remaining vacancy on the Supreme Court.