Ma sister was ruint by one of them transducers. They was hayin' an' he went an' sweet-talked her and transduced her right there in Uncle Jem's south 40. Then he went ta git some more water and jist kept right on walkin' and it's good that he did 'cuz Ma was almighty pissed about it an' Pa was fit ta be tied too. Us boys got the shotguns all loaded up and set out after him whilst Ma an' Pa tried to git that silly grin offen Sis's face.

We caught up with him in the Pubic Liberry in Dillsboro an' we wuz gonna fill him so fulla holes that they cud sit him outside an' use him fer a fountain, only the liberry lady shushed us up an' said that we cud only shoot him in the liberry iffen we used silencers. We went out to git some an' when we got back that dirty transducer wuzn't there no more. We figgered out that he'd done a flit, cuz the copy of "Green Eggs And Ham" that he wuz readin' wuz still sorta floatin' in the air.

Anyway, brother Ez snagged it and read some of it an' Ez is now teachin' fillosophy in one of them big-name fancy-shmancy Eastern colledges like Bowdoin er Stanford er St. Dismas. He come home last Christmas, back to the farm, and whilst he wuz bouncin' Sis's twins on his knees and goin' "Kitchy-Koo" to 'em he owned up that that there book opened up his eyes ta fillosophy and got him the job he's got as a perfesser at that college. Anyways, that was jist afore Sis smacked him a good un fer kitchy-kooing them 20 year old twins. We always kinda wunnered what woulda happent iffen Ez had read all of that there book.