about the friend in a wheelchair: your friend needs an advocate for housing on the first floor and medical help and probably sounds like help for PTSD. He might be a pisshead but he is also a veteran and needs whatever he is entitled to as one ...perhaps there is a veterans' group that can help...and shame on any country that allows any veteran of any war or situation to live like that...

and Emily, sorry to intrude on your discussion but it sounds like you have some good suggestions...