I have returned.

By dint of great personal comfort I have avoided frostbite, chilblains, trenchfoot, ingrown toenail, corns, bunions, and the heartbreak of psoriassis. The vegetables are safely stowed, and I purchased a weeder I can use standing upright. The snow has stopped for a while, and the ice is no thicker than it was when I went abroad, although there is a 50% chance that snow will fall this afternoon and tomorrow.

So I have returned. Please, no accolades, no triumphal processions, no speeches, no national days of rejoicing, for I am but a humble, shy fellow from the Great Midwest.