Taking Ted seriously for a minute (probably not a good idea!)

1) The country has turned into a socialist distopia where all aspects of expression are regulated against by its nanny state mentality.
Like Raedwulf says, is England any better ?

3) The men wear skirts which frightens small children.
Not in my experince. Small Children are more tolerant than many adults, not that that's hard...

And if there is a closing down sale, I know which bit I'll have. She's in Aberdeen at the moment, and rather likes kilts...