Here ya go, folks, just in time to learn for Halloween.

I got the lyrics from The Austin Lounge Lizards' web site , but they don't seem complete. I seem to recall a final verse in which all the hillbillies came back to life.

HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
Dick Price

Here we go, down the road, uh-huh.

Eighty hillbillies in Tennessee
All went drivin' on I-83.
They took a turn and they headed west.
Why they did that, anyone's guess.
There were eighty-seven of 'em when they started out,
But five of 'em died and two fell out.
One named Buck, his wife was half dead.
He should 'a' left her at home, but he brought her instead.

They were drivin' west on County Road Eight.
They spotted a house that looked just great,
Four stories tall and fifty yards wide.
The hillbillies decided to step inside.
They parked in front and got out of their cars,
Took in some moonshine in Mason jars,
Got their guitars and fiddles too,
Started playin' Billy, Billy, Billy Bayou.
They were a-laughin' and a-dancin' and actin' very silly,
But what can one expect from eighty hillbillies?
They had a big party and did what they wanted.
They never suspected that the house was haunted.

Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty-one, if you count Buck's spouse,
Eighty-one hillbillies in a haunted house.

They were a-laughin' and a-cussin' and a-drinkin' beer.
The hillbillies started to disappear.
First it was Luke and Lula and Mac,
Then there were more. It was hard to keep track.
Dickie Wayne Price, he screamed real hard,
"There's five dead hillbillies out in the yard!"
They searched the house and they found two more:
Hector and Peanut, down on the floor.
They found Ebby's head stuck on top of a broom,
Found the rest of her in the very next room.
Many strange things happened that night.
They kept finding bodies left and right.

Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Seventy, if you count Buck's spouse,
Seventy hillbillies in a haunted house.

Two were attacked by the walkin' dead.
Three got a hatchet right through the head.
Six were eaten by giant rats.
One was killed by vampire bats.
Six hillbillies got stabbed with swords.
One got hit by flyin' boards.
Three were 'lectrocuted by an electric wire,
And two hillbillies caught on fire.

Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-six, if you count Buck's spouse,
Forty-six hillbillies in a haunted house.

Downstairs, hillbillies danced all night.
Upstairs they were droppin' left and right.
Drinkin' their moonshine, a hundred proof,
Two hillbillies fell off the roof.
Three got strangled by the crawlin' eye.
Two hillbillies just started to fly.
Three were eaten by a giant moth.
Four hillbillies got their heads chopped off.
Two hillbillies had a heart attack.
One hillbilly got stabbed in the back.
Three hillbillies had screamin' fits,
And four hillbillies got shred to bits.

[Recorded by The Austin Lounge Lizards on "Never an Adult Moment," 2000; and by Dick Price on "Dick Price's Theatre of Cruelty."]