Great idea Snuffy UK. Here's an offering.

Cancer and Heart Failure
Chorus - Snuffy UK
Verses - Tony Burns

Tune : South Australia

Puff away you superkings
Puff away, drag away
Emphysema's all it brings
Cancer and heart failure.

I started smoking to look cool
Now I'm just a wheezing fool

I'm a great guy you can tell
If you can get past the smell

Even though I cough and gag
I just light another fag

I wake each morn at 3:15
Go downstairs for some nicotine