from the Surrealist compliment generator:

Your dashingly colored toupee twists my right boot into a state of ennui with the speed and dexterity of many lemon meringue-coated conquistadors.

Your mucuous membranes glisten with the glow of forty-seven burning violins.

Your eyebrows are as verdantly forrested as the seeded woodworms of my most sombre dreams.

You cannot compare with the apex of a ferris wheel, nor the nadir of a ditch filled with a coelocanth's droppings.

Its a far far better thing I do than to require that you find me a hammer and pummel me with all due diligence.

Seems to sum everything up, yes?