And if you are lucky
As you snoop around
You'll discover he story
Of Bad Leroi Brown."
Now sharpen your pencil
And listen quite well,
And you'll soon to be
The librarian from hell."


And she replied, "Well, you just take care when you do it. And if some of your little piggies are sliced off we'll have them sewn back on. Now put on your Care Bears pajamas, brush your teethies, say your prayers, and climb into the world of sweet dreams."

And so I have done just as Mother suggested. I have thirty-two guns in my pocket for fun, and it's quite a burden. My pants fall down, for one thing. And the cord from the razor keeps getting all tangled up in bushes and things and sometimes I even step on it and trip myself.

But as soon as I change my name to Leroy Brown I'll be the Baddest Man in the Whole Damn Town. First though I suppose I have to determine whether or not there is an "E" on the end of Brown. And whether or not "Leroy" is "Lee Roy" "LeRoy" "Le Roy" or some other variant.

Your assistance would be appreciated.

Thank you for helping me to become the Baddest Man in the Whole Damn Town.

And it's hands on your sheathes lads,
And keep the blades free,
On your guard for a visit
From Bold Raparee!

This bold man of books
Took Counsel from Ma
And he swore he would soon live
Outside of the law.
He got him a razor
110 volts A.C.
Shoved it into his Weejums
Which were 10 triple-E.