I found that it's best handled by a fellow bodrhan player. If they're taken under the wing & showed a few helpful tricks along with an explanation on bodhran manners, something that alot of beginners have never heard of. If you don't want drum accompanyment (though I couldn't for the world understand why) just gently put your hand up as in halt or be a little more forward & softly put your hand on their drum, if that doesn't work tell 'em that you chose not to accompany yourself so follow suit. It's not just the drummers that need some TLC those strung out stringers & those button pushers could use a little too. Barry