Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Even *greater* Britons
From: SaraM
Date: Fri, 06 Dec 2002 22:19:21 +1100

Did you know that, according to the British Home and Leisure Accident Surveillance System, 37 British people suffered serious tea cosy injuries in 1999 and had to be admitted to hospital for treatment? No?

Well, how about the 165 who fell victim to rogue and dangerous placemat injuries? Or bread bins with their tally of 91 poor Brits needing medical attention? Pales into insignificance next to the 146 poor souls maimed and traumatized by their dust pans, doesn't it? AND the 73 talc victims, the 329 people harmed by their toilet roll holder, and the 787 imperilled by their sponge. Especially when compared to the fiendish tally rung up by those devilish English clothes baskets - 3,421 emergencies caused just by this seemingly innocent-looking article of homeware alone 8( Makes you feel almost complacent about the 311 who had bird baths attack them - well - until you realize that that figure represents a whopping 166 per cent increase over the previous year's survey. And then of course there's *leaves* - 1,171 victims fell to them this year, only marginally less than the 5,615 hospitalizations due to wellington boot accidents, the 16,662 vicious attacking armchairs lurking out there, the 5,945 unwary persons damaged by their trousers *or* the socks and tights who managed to claim a combined total of 10,773 poor defenceless Poms.

These statistics were quoted on this weeks "News Quiz" (BBC Radio 4)
more ammunition for all you song challangers out there....