Tig,

I can't tell you what WILL be in the box, but I'll tell you what i had to eliminate, for running out of room:

Anything to do with Aroma therapy has been eliminated, so Aw-ree-vi- dair-chee Aroma! That's more of a job for Scent-a-Claus anyway, and besides, there'll be plenty of good non-scents still within.


The Sea-Dee of nautical music. Since I'm at least one ocean away (Deep-ends off what direction you're coming from, actually), I can't be there to make sure you say "She-Santees sing sea shanties shamefully by the seashore" ten times fast without making a mistake before you're allowed to open it. Besides, I'm told that such harsh measures are specifically prohibited in the Geneva Conventions.

"Yes Virginia, there IS a shanty claus!"

....and don't bother typing it out, either! (I know I, for one, could probably SAY it right faster than I could type it right.)


I would send you some examples of "local color", but my spy elves Elf-Alpha and his assistants Spanky and Buckwheat tell me you have some dead leaves already. Too bad, as they were very afordable.....


They also tell me that you've cancelled your tropical vacation, so you know what THAT means--

"No tanning balm, no tanning balm......"


....and I tramped in search all through the vintage, but I couldn't remember where the wreath of grapes was stored, so maybe you'll have to wait 'til next year on that.


All the pffefers slipped their nooses, so there'll be no cookies...


All of which means you'll have to gratefully settle on the soon-to-arrive bounteous box of carefully mixed blessings from .....


The Great And Almighty.....


CLAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cue in spooky music)


....And maybe some Jalapena Purina to feed your firecat!