Heckle: 'You sound like Hendrix playing the ukulele!!!'
Response: (In broad Lancashire accent) 'Turned out purple again!'

Response to a noisy, incoherent drunk; 'Lets have a bit of respect folks, we have a medical miracle in here tonight; let's hear it for the worlds only surviving brain transplant donor...'

Response to someone persistently requesting 'play a Dylan song' in a session; each performer plays their favourite Dylan song, simultaneously. (Scary thing is, it still sounds like a Dylan song!)
Tim from Bit on the Side