Now, my name is Jock Stewart
I'm paranoid man,
And a careful young fellow, I've been.

Don't be easy and free
When you're dealin' wi' me.
I'm a man you don't meet every day.

I have acres of land;
A bomb shelter grand;
I have always a gun aimed at you.

Now, I took out my gun,
With my dog I did hide,
In my shelter for chaos to come

I'm in a terrible mood
but I've got lots of food
And whiskey to drive care away

I watched the year change
And I thought it so strange
When everything worked the next day

I fell victim to fears
Now I'm in beans to my ears
And below ground I think I'll just stay.