A song in there somewhere? Happy to oblige...

To My Feline
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"When I see mine own Alice
A-going up the stairs,
I follow my sweet Alice
Lest she should shed her hairs

Upon the rugs and carpets
Where she's oft wont to sit -
Or pee upon the guest beds
And render them unfit.

Oh Alice, thou art pretty,
But Alice, thou art fat,
And should'st not be insulted
When I call you - a cat!

(Alternative verse:
Oh Alice, thou art cuddly,
Though something of a hog,
For sharing of thy bedding
Comes not natural to a dog...)

And though tis in thy nature
To shed and hack and pee,
I love thee still, my Alice,
Oh Alice - dost love me?