I have known some people with depression or anxiety or other related states os mind, and let me assure you, "I'd rather not say" that you are NOT alone. There are MANY others out there. In ALL walks and stations of life. And as you have said, many of them do not want to go public because of the fear of shame or snickering. So they are out there...quietly.

But good on you for posting here rather than just quietly doing yourself in. And good on you, too for taking some of the wonderful and caring advice offered here. From what you have said, it is something that you MUST accept the help of others on. So follow through on your promise to get that help. And keep us posted with your progress so that we can stop worrying.

And start right now with the music making. That is what brings us together here at the Mudcat Cafe, and it is powerful good stuff. Someone else pointed out that when you sing, your body releases healing endorphins. And that is something very important to you.

If you like, you may PM me. I promise I will not share with anyone else whatever you tell me.