All Googley-eyed after perusing Wolfgang's thread about big balls? Feeling frustratingly fixated on your family jewels so early in the morning? Tsk tsk tsk!

Well, worry not. Here's a little something to help balance your load ....Big Boobs and Big Brains

"BIG-BOOBED gals have a new reason to stick out their chests with pride. A surprising study proves they're more intelligent than their small-breasted sisters! The study of 1,200 women conducted by Chicago sociologists comes in the wake of a recently released report stating that blonde rocket scientists outnumber brunettes.   

"Although I hate to admit it, we found that women with big busts average 10 IQ points higher than less well-endowed women," reveals lead researcher Dr. Yvonne Rossdale, herself a meager 32A. "The myth that women with voluptuous figures are not smart should now be shelved, along with the misconception that all blondes are dumb."

American women have the largest breasts in the world and our nation's knockers have been increasing in volume with each generation. According to a recent report, the average U.S. cup size has ballooned to an impressive C.

That, the sociologists speculate, may explain why the United States leads the world in science and technology. "Well-endowed women, many of them shyly concealing their assets behind lab coats in research and development departments across the country, could be considered America's secret weapon," the researcher observes."

Hmmm. I'm taking all this with a big bouncin' blob of silicone, myself. Would a similar study done in, say, Paris or Ottawa or Moscow, have yielded the same results? And hey, if it's true, what could be done to save the planet from the stupifying effect of billions upon billions of those wispy little Asian ladies?   Quick quick quick - we gotta know!

;-)